The Dawn of Conflict - A Realization for Mediators and Disputing Parties

There are times when a person is fighting a conflict and does not even realize it. When the realization comes it's shocking to the conscience. This is normally true, especially when the person on the other side is fully known to be one who is close and dear at heart. Webster defines conflict as follows:

(1) a fight, battle, or war, such as an armed conflict. Additionally, it could be:

2(a) competitive or opposing action of incompatibles; antagonistic state or action (as of divergent ideas, interests, or persons);

(b) mental struggle resulting from incompatible or opposing needs, drives, wishes, or external or internal demands; and

(3) the opposition of persons or forces that gives rise to the dramatic action in a drama or fiction.

When it comes to mediation, one can say that conflict involves an emotion and dispute, or an emotional dispute. According to the cannons of mediation, there must be a conflict in progress for a mediator to get into the process. Once the mediator is a participant of solution, there is a conflict in progress according to the above definition of conflict. There are times when parties are nave enough to believe that people with long-standing relationships are not susceptible to conflict. They also feel that these individuals are less emotional than those of short-standing relationships-which is incorrect! The mediator must bridge this gap, make an appraisal, and achieve a positive realization, because emotions could be hidden and should not be prejudged.

When it comes to conflicts and disputes between parties, one must realize that the emotional state of the parties is not cast in stone and is not permanent. The emotion arising from any one party may be in the moment at that point in time; however, one's emotion is subject to change at any given time. The state of emotion may shift in a short moment. The mediator must be aware of this fact also the parties on either side. Furthermore, a dispute must involve more than one individual. Having an internal dispute within oneself is not a dispute which rises to the level of mediation-it takes more than one person!

Dispute is normally a negatively arising event and not one which is positively thought of. However, once the issue enters the mediation realms, the outcome is one with some positive options. Mediation will turn out positive in the end, because it is a process which helps a person learn some new and positive things, develop new modes of communication, and to think about options they normally wouldn't consider-thus erasing conflict! Conflict is normally a negative state of being for many; however, mediation helps people to smoothly shift to something more productive in the process.